Where is Mr. Smith

“You’re from BuildaBridge!” Rich pointed at Dr. V as she passed him in the hallway of Women Against Abuse where BuildaBridge has a program for kids and their moms.  Rich had noticed the BuildaBridge logo on her shirt.

 “How do you know BuildaBridge? Are you in our Tuesday night class?” She inquired.  He was older than the Mommy and Baby class she was about to teach, and so he appeared to fit in with the new Tuesday night photography class we offer. His singing response was exceptional, “Hey BuildaBridge, Yea.  Hey BuildaBridge, Yea.  My name is Rich, and I’m from Philly, and I have a move I like and it goes like this….. He began singing the BuildaBridge song that he had learned two days prior. Together in the hall, right there, they sang the song together.



Without the prompting of a question, he began rattling off everything that happened in his class Tuesday night with such enthusiasm and excitement. At the end of it all, he asked if Mr. Smith was coming back. Mr. Smith is our Community Programs director, who was just there visiting for the first class, making sure it started off smoothly. He would not be a weekly figure in teaching the class. But clearly this one interaction with him made an impact on Rich who remembered him by name and asked for his return specifically. The importance of a positive male presence can be very valuable to a young boy living in an environment of women (women who run the shelter, the moms that live there). Male role models are critical in the success of young boys for:

• Shaping their identity
• Teaching them values
• Giving them a sense of belonging
• Demonstrating character that young boys can model

Without fathers, boys often feel like they’re missing something in which they look to gangs and violence for that acceptance and release of aggression, or behaviors such as sex, drugs, or alcohol that can be self-destructive in attempts to fill an emotional void. Unfortunately, the male role models that have been in their lives (often the abusers), have not always been kind men to look up to, if they have been in the picture at all. A study completed at Oxford University found that infants who had positive contact with their fathers in the first three months, had better behavior at one years old, especially the boys. No child is too young to feel the effects of an absent parent. It is important to take the time to listen to what kids say. There was a bigger picture pointed out to Dr. V when speaking with this boy. He was excited about his new facts and fun activities experienced in the BuildaBridge classroom; but he was just as excited about seeing Mr. Smith again. So the question is, where are all the men? As human beings we are made for relationships, not isolation. No matter what, all children desire positive connections. Rich is reminding us of that.  Join us in our mission.